Keeping It Real While In Prison

Since I have been in prison for a full 2 months now, I have been able to hear more stories from fellow inmates about keeping in real while in prison.  So hopefully you enjoy this dose of keeping in real while in prison.

You know you are keeping it real while in prison when:

1.  You are told to social distance at least six feet in a 12 man room that has beds no more than two feet apart.

2.  You are told to wash your hands frequently, but they do not provide you with soap or paper towels.

3.  You are eating homemade cheesecake made with coffeemate creamer.

4.  Eating macerole nachos is the highligh of your day.

5.  You see your first issue of Phat Puffs magazine.  (Apparently this really is a thing.  Look it up online.  I have never seen it.)

6.  You hear inmates say their number one goal when they Keeping It Real While In Prison get out is “putting a baby in her.”

7.  An inmate buys a dozen Mother’s Day cards at commissary because they don’t make any “baby momma cards”. 

8.  You are searching for an “adams apple” from the “female” visitor.  At prison camps, inmates can have visitors any time, whether they know them well or not. 

9.  Inmates refer to the 65 year old church volunteer as hot.

10.  Someone asks you if you want a protein shake, and you make sure to ask it if it is from commissary.

Hopefully you enjoyed these.  I will try to come up with some more later on.

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