another dose

Another Dose of Keeping it Real While in Prison

Another Dose of Keeping it Real While in Prison

Hope you guys are keeping up with my blog.  Here is another dose of keeping it real while in prison.  Hopefully you enjoy.

You know you are keeping real while in prison when:

1.  They do not mow the grass with gas powered mowers, but use battery powered ones.  Totally true.  When I go to outdoor rec where there are large areas of grass, the workers who are inmates since all inmates are required to work, use electric mowers so nobody is encouraged to use the fuel for drinking, smoking or gas explosives.  I can’t make this stuff up.

2.  You can not get or use staples, but yet the mail room makes copies of your mail and you guessed it, they staple them and give them to us.

3.  You are fed a bag of chips for lunch that expired 2 months ago.

4.  You tell the dietician, “I can’t digest some of the foods on the low fiber diet such as oatmeal, eggs, spicy chicken, etc…”  The dietician responds, “Would it help if we double your portion sizes of those.”  It really happened to me.  I again explained to the dietician its the type of foods not the quantity.  She said go to sick call aka convenient care.  I did and the nurse said go see the dietician.  It is a vicious circle.

5.  Inmates hide things such as phones or other electronics in their “prison wallet” so guards won’t find them.  I have not seen this, but lets just say guards that suspect inmates are hiding something would take the inmate in a room for a strip search and made sure they bent forward and spread their butt cheeks.  I can’t make this stuff up.  Hopefully you now know what a “prison wallet” is.

6.  The guards in front of the chow hall will not let you bring in cereal you purchased at commissary for breakfast.  Its frustrating because it all depends on the guard and how he or she feels that day.  Some days you can and some days you cannot.  No consistency. 

7.  The men’s slow pitch softball games get so contentious that the guard must come over and make them quit. So the teams end up brawling anyway.  The smack talk is extremely hard core during these games so naturally lots of inmates enjoy watching the games.

8.  You request medical records from this fine institution and it takes 6 to 8 weeks to get them.  Literally we are right here.  It is a simple print out.

9.  You use trash bags filled with water as a weight set attached to a broom stick with your locker as the bench.  People did this during Covid lockdown.

10.  You see people doing pull ups in the unit on the super thick sprinkler system pipes.  I see this everyday. 

Hope you enjoyed these.  Stay tuned for a few more next week.

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