Keeping it Real While in Prison

So I have experienced a few more things that I thought would be a good addition to Keeping it Real While in Prison.  Hopefully you enjoy these few.

You know you are keeping it real while in prison when:

1.  The prison claims they are all about family ties, yet they only allow 1 hour visits and you MUST maintain 6 feet apart.

2.  During a visitation, the inmate must undergo a FULL body cavity search before AND after the visit even though they are separated by 6 feet.  When I mean FULL body cavity, I mean FULL.  Inmates must bend over and squat.  Dr. Jobalia had to do this when his parents came to visit.

3.  During a visitation, if ANYONE has to use the bathroom, the visit is immediately ended.  This also happened with Dr. Jobalia.  His mom who is up there in years drove 8 hours.  She had to use the restroom.  Guards immediately ended the visit.  So much for caring about inmate family ties.

4.  Each year the prison undergoes an audit of how they are doing with corrections.  The employees, who don’t like working in the first place, must go around making sure inmates do not store too many books or clothes in spare lockers.  Just another meaningless way they want to express their dominance. 

5.  The prison guard for the library refuses to unlock the door because he does not feel like walking out in the rain.  So us inmates waiting at the library door must walk back to our unit in the rain.

6.  The prison’s idea for a special meal is grilled cheese with tomato soup, but the cheese was not melted.  In addition, the tomato soup was only tomato paste with water.  It is true, for a special meal they served this for lunch for having a certain percentage of vaccinated inmates.

7.  You get yelled at for going to chapel (church).  This happened to me.  I got permission from the Chaplain to go to chapel and even had it documented in the prison scheduling system.  However, the guard at my job neglected to look at the prison system and consequently thought I was skipping work or missing.  When I went to back to work after chapel, he yelled at me.

8.  You get yelled at for eating lunch in the wheelchair room even though the very same guard had the room we were supposed to eat in closed for cleaning.  This seriously happened and the guard did not even apologize for his error.

9.  Inmates stuff pints of milk in their socks at chow so they can drink milk back in the unit.  I cannot drink milk so no issue for me, but honestly what is wrong with drinking milk back at the unit.

10.  Two guards come to your room unannounced looking for hooch (alcohol) and drugs.  As you walk out of the room so they can search it, they also pat you down.  This really happened to me and luckily our room keeps things VERY VERY neat and tidy so they did not take much time.  Unfortunately the room across from mine was not as lucky.  A guy got hauled to the SHU.

Hopefully you enjoyed reading these and got a better idea of what I must endure.

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